CLUNKBUCKET

One of the great unanswered questions of long-term automobile ownership is the mystery of the alternator. If the collective automotive powers can design and manufacture a car as complex and modern as the Oldsmobile Toronado Trofeo, it would seem but a minor detail to install a bulletproof alternator under every hood. Why automakers cannot produce this alternator that serves in usefulness for the life of an automobile is a vexing question that may remain forever unanswered. A charging system failure results in one of the more common automotive repairs. Removing and replacing a bad alternator. Early symptoms of a spent or malfunctioning alternator are dimming headlights or sluggish electrical accessories after dark. Positive proof of a dead alternator or charging system gone haywire is a sad click-click-click, or no sound at all from the starter when you turn the ignition key. While replacing an alternator is a usually a simple remove and replace operation, it is good practice to test the charging system as a whole before throwing perfectly good money and time away.

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From the atmospheric pressure and faulty carburetor adjustment division of Tool of the Week comes the large dial vacuum gauge. As the Starlet was going through its bi-annual carburetor meltdown, the time was right to bust out the vacuum gauge to see what was going on. Spark was there for sure. There was plenty of air. That left fuel and fuel delivery as suspects. This particular vacuum gauge also checks for fuel pressure. Bonus! With a few extra lengths of hose and a t-connector, we first determined that the fuel pressure was in the correct range. A hose hooked up to a vacuum source below the carburetor base revealed that the engine was doing OK too. That left only one thing that could be wrong, and what we knew was wrong all along. Wacky float. The forward thinking bunch that designed this particular Aisin carburetor made it so the only way to adjust the float is to remove the air horn – or top, of the carburetor. Off came the carburetor for yet another fun-filled carburetor rebuild and float drop reset. With the carburetor and everything else bolted back into the Starlet, the vacuum gauge went back under the hood along along with a timing light to set the idle air-fuel mixture into the highest vacuum point sweet spot. And now for an official announcement. The next time this carburetor comes off the Starlet, it will not get rebuilt, or get bolted back on.

Find this very Fuel Pump and Vacuum Tester gauge here, or similar versions at other fine retailers.

From the turbocharged G54B-4G54 Astron engine department of Tool of the Week comes the digital scale, shown here in the process of measuring more Astron connecting rods than we have engine blocks to put them in. As yet another Mitsubishi engine buildup is in the near future, a small investment in an inexpensive digital scale seemed a good way to figure out was going on with two sets of connecting rods. One set of rods appeared to have been worked and balanced, and was also bushed for floating piston pins that held on a set of beat forged pistons. The other set of rods was stock except for being resized in preparation for a rebuild. Both sets of rods were fitted with ARP rod bolts. The digital scale was used to get a general idea of mass, and produced surprisingly repeatable results despite its low price. Actual connecting balancing requires a fixture that measures the mass at one end or the other, and is either made or sold separately. What the digital scale revealed was that the worked and bushed set of rods were all within one gram of each other, scaling in at around 805 grams each. Bonus! The factory connecting rods were as far as 18 grams apart, with the heaviest one scaling in at 843 grams. Quick math made for a 128 gram total weight difference between the two sets of rods. For under 20 bucks, the digital scale helped determine which set of connecting rods to haul into the machine shop, along with a crankshaft and yet another engine block.

Along with technological miracles of the ’60′s and ’70s such as urethane skateboard wheels and mood rings came the advent of transistorized electronic ignition. With no moving parts to wear out, this modern advancement relegated breaker points ignition to the trash bin of automotive technological history. Breaker points cause the ignition dwell to change as they wear out, requiring near constant adjustment and frequent replacement. Ditching the points distributor and upgrading to an electronic ignition usually involves one or more trips to the boneyard, some creative rewiring, and with removal and replacement of the distributor. Enter the Pertronix Ignitor. This simple Hall Effect device replaces the breaker points with a solid state transistorized upgrade in the same space the old mechanical points sat – with no distributor modifications required. Better still is Pertronix has Ignitor breaker points replacements for everything from Volkswagen Bugs to a 1969 Citroën DS Safari Wagon. Read the rest of this entry »

From the Large Hadron Collider department of Tool of the Week comes the Telescoping Magnet, or magnetic pickup tool. Regardless of automobile make or model, there is always at least one fastener in a difficult if not ridiculous location. Getting to that bugger often requires ingenuity in action. After putting a box end wrench into a vice and using a sledge hammer to bend it into a crows foot, pegging the swear-o-meter, twisting a screwdriver into a 73-degree angle with a set of vice-grips, and cursing whoever or whatever company was responsible for putting the fastener in such a ludicrous location, you finally crack that nut or bolt loose.

Celebrating in this moment triumph and victory, you forget that as hard as it was to get to the fastener, it will be equally if not nearly impossible to fish the damn thing back out of there. This realization is particularly sinking after dropping the nut or bolt. Enter the miracle of the Telescoping Magnet pickup tool! The telescoping section of this Tool of the Week is much like the telescoping antenna on old radios, or the fully electronic telescoping antenna on the Starion. The difference is a small and powerful magnet is affixed the end of the telescoping section instead of the usual Jack-in-the-Box or Mooneyes antenna ball. Just set the tool to the right length, and go fishing. The bonus useful warning of the week is that no matter how supergenius of an idea it seems at first, never use the Telescoping Magnet pickup tool to fish a smart phone out of an unreachable place or anywhere near a computer. Powerful magnets do all sorts of undesirable things to data stored on magnetic media.

Direct from the Van Nuys desk of the Tool of the Week aptly named hammers division comes the dead blow hammer, or mallet. There are many hammer-mallets, but none have the unique functionality of the dead blow hammer. Inside the hollow plastic or steel center of the dead blow hammer head is a measure of sand or steel pellet shot. The pellets are similar to those found inside a shotgun shell. The shot dampens the rebound or bouncing associated with lesser hammers. The shot also softens the hammer blow to your wrist and hand. The quick-shifting shot even adds bonus power the hammer blow. The shot delivers its mass and inertia to the inside of the hammer face a split-second after contact with the frame rail, steel shelving, 55-gallon drum lid, or whatever else is being hammered. Bonus double hit!

While the dead blow hammer is great for smacking together wooden joists, convincing automotive chassis parts into place, or use anyplace where a focused blunt force is required, the somewhat malleable faces of the hammer are not suited for use on sharp objects such as chisels or nails. Some dead blow hammers and kits come with replaceable faces, making these dead blow hammers akin to the subject kid in one of our favorite Richard Hell and the Voidoids songs – The Kid with the Replaceable Head. Always wear safety glasses when operating the dead blow hammer. A exceptionally mighty Thor-like hammer blow could cause the dead blow hammer head to asplode, sending plastic and steel shrapnel in every direction. Unless like the kid you can pick your replaceable heads at will from the shelf, wearing the safety glasses while hammering anything is a capital idea.

Special thanks to Alex Nunez for the Tool of the Week tip.

The pine-like Little Tree® was famous long before Miller handed one to Otto the ’80s classic movie Repo Man. You find one in every car. You’ll see. The shop or home garage is another place this object based continuum occurs. Be it on a bench or pedestal, most every garage or workshop in the land has at some point in its existence contained one (or more) bench grinder buffer-polisher machines. Some of these appeared recently, and still wear bright paint, a gooseneck light, and perhaps some manner of safety eye shield. Other bench grinder-polishers have achieved near invisibility in a corner of the garage, covered with a neutral gray mix of the dust from everything that ever touched its wheels over since Eisenhower was in the Oval Office. While most bench grinders are essentially an electric motor with a shaft on either end, others have more elaborate belt drive systems. The good machines will be passed on from one generation to the next, and serve in circular utility for many years to come. Lackluster or far-too-heavy to move units are often left behind in the garage or shop for the next person that wants to clean the threads on an rusty old bolt, or polish up some aluminum. The bench grinder is everywhere. You find one in every garage. You’ll see.

From the internet meme department of repairs comes this quick and E-Z tech tip for those looking to find the amber lamps. In this case the two stock amber inboard headlamps for a 1969 Citroen iD sedan proved not only near-impossible to locate, but à prix élevé for the purposes of drivable restification. The inexpensive solution comes in a can for under ten bucks. One can of Krylon Stained Glass Color spray paint in yellow can convert standard sets of clear lens fog lights or headlamps into the amber lamps in a few minutes. The task of prying the lamps or fog lights out of whatever mounts they are fused or screwed into will of course vary by vehicle. Consult your service manual or favorite forum for guidance in removal without breakage. Once the lamps are out and ready for paint, make sure the lamp surface is clean and free of grease or crud. The spray-on finish is translucent and designed for use on glass. Apply the paint in thin, even coats. Better two thin coats than one heavy one to avoid light blocking drips and puddling. Additional thin coats will bring a deeper yellow-amber to the lens. Our Citroën driving man in the field provided these photos of his own amber lamp spray paint conversion. He reports unimpaired luminosity and no breakdown in finish after nearly a year of extensive all-weather testing and actual use. With a couple hours and about ten bucks you too can bring the amber lamps.

Thanks to the SoCal Citroen Club and Andy Takakjian for the photos and tech tip.