CLUNKBUCKET

Most folks think of automobiles comprised of parts that are fitted together with no imperfections or miscarved lines to ruin the illusion of perfection. While this may be somewhat true of a car or truck made in the last ten years or so, it is certainly not the case of an automobile manufactured as recently as the eighties. Dip back into the sixties and things get even more agricultural. Getting a car straight at the robot-free factory circa 1969 meant people using hammers, shims, and spreaders full of molten lead. Bringing a fusty old Mopar that rolled off the assembly line fortysomething years ago back into line again after an accident involves drastic measures.

This 1969 Dodge Charger owned and maintained by Frank Kozik of the Chiselers SF needed its coke bottle curves smoothed back to jet age perfection after getting rear-ended. While some of us might be able to fashion up some sort of near facsimile of a Dodge body panel with a gallon of Bondo and a potato masher, the end result won’t look better than it did when it came from the factory. Kozik decided new rear quarter panels were the way to go. Ace custom and body man Rolfe Brittain took on the job, and let us peer into the process from the first cut. Slicing through forty years of Mopar is not a task for the ill-equipped. Check out the gallery for the beginning of the work. Head on over to Rolfe’s for the ongoing saga of getting the lead out and put back in again.

More: Rolfe James Brittain Customizing

Popularity: 1%

For 1966, Datsun went to 11. The durable and Pininfarina-styled Datusn P410 was stepped up with more engine and became the Datsun P411. In 2004 Pete Peterson found this 1967 Datsun RL411 Bluebird SSS wearing various shades of blue and surface rust, and woke it up from a 20-year junkyard slumber. The chronicle of the this Datsun is one of two cars, forty years, and a meandering riverbed road. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 38%

From the driving a work in progress department comes this 1973 Datsun 510. Dan Carney woke up the coupe from a longish and stationary nap. Over the course of a year he’s enjoyed his lot as builder and test pilot of this poor man’s BMW. On the way to roadworthy Dan stepped up the mechanicals beyond the usual resurrection process of swapping out rotten hydraulic hoses and spongy fuel lines. The suspension underneath the green road patina employs the finest in junkyard engineering and swap meet scores to keep the car on corner line and give it the right stance. The slot mags? All that is known of the mystery brand of 14-inch aluminum magnesium alloy hoops is that they came with the 510 by way of a Datsun Z-car. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 31%

One of the more amazing things about moving to the west coast in the eighties was seeing 20-something year old cars driving around that looked as if they had rolled off the assembly line only a week before. No road salt? No rust! Original hubcaps. Shining paint. Occasional Malibus and Novas were then punctuated by an odd Barracuda or similar economical yet stylish choice from the 1968 model lineup. Fast forward twenty years, and the phenomenon is just as incredible. Case in point is this 1982 Datsun 200SX by Nissan, owned and driven by Maria since she bought the sport coupe brand new.

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 29%

Back to France in just two short weeks? Is Nicolas Sarkozy’s wife double-barrel smoking hot? And why you ask? Because this week our LeMon is a rusty 1973 Citroen SM. According to some of those car cognesceti types (hi mom!), the Citroen SM is one of the very greatest cars ever made. If not the greatest. To more rational, reasonable and logic-based types, the Sport Maserati by Citroen is a five-alarm fire from which you must run, run, run! Maybe it’s one of the three timing chains that need to be tuned every 5,000 feet miles, or the fact that you’re getting a mix of French hydropneumatic suspension and late 60s Italian engine technology. But never mind any of that. Just think of all the advantages such a fine piece of machinery offers your LeMons team.

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 46%

From the we’re not fooling department comes this 1971 Lincoln Continental Mark III. This embodiment of American luxury and style was purchased at a Goodguys car corral for the princely sum of 500 dollars by one Brad Walker. “For 500 bucks, it’s got some good bones”, said a smiling Brad out on the lawn. While the sled came stock with a 460 cubic inch V-8, Brad just happens to already have a 429 Ford Cobra jet engine out in his garage that might soon have a new home. 1971 was the last year for the big Mark III, which sent 365 horsepower through the three-speed automatic trans. We also solved a mystery for which fellow FoMoCo driver Steve McGarrett already knew the answer to. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 38%

Proving that finding a classic and driving it to a car show doesn’t require a federal bailout are Steve and Tina Lencioni of Pacifica, California and their 1973 Ford Pinto Squire station wagon. Steve has owned this top-tier optioned Pinto longroof for a little over a year now after spying it in a garage as part of his travels as a roofing contractor. The previous owner wanted the car gone, and told Steve to come and get it. After a 18-year garage nap, the wagon is back on the road as the result of a deal that was essentially better than free. The Pinto has 73K original miles, features a roof rack, acres of brown vinyl and carpeting, and a set of factory aluminum slot mags for sporty style. The Pinto was a budget standout in a sea of entries, and  stands as the Clunkbucket Choice from last weekend’s Goodguys Rod & Custom bonanza.

More: Goodguys Rod & Custom Association

Popularity: 52%

Last week we explored the infinite joy inherent to all French LeMons race cars. Today we hop the Chunnel and head to the land of boiled monkfish, Joe Lucas, and the birthplace of this 1969 Triumph GT6 MkII – jolly old England. Known to hopeless, bloody knuckled types the world round as the “poor man’s E-type,” the MkII was able to cough up a stunning 104 hp for the 12 days between leaving the dealer and it’s first scheduled maintenance. We figure that this particular British racing green little devil will make substantially less. But that’s OK, because you’ll be lightening the GT6 for the race, right? The good news is the Triumph is way ahead of you. “There is rust in the floorboards really bad and on the passenger side you can see the ground”, claims the current owner. Plus, is there a man alive that doesn’t love SU carburetors? Fun fact: SU stands for Skinner Union, and before they started making carbs they made… toilets! [flush that - those are Strombergs. See correction from Jay Lamm below - ed] And the Triumph’s price couldn’t be righter — just $500. Do you smell what Judge Jonny smells? A sure fire winner! Cheers to the miscreants heroic racers that make up the 24 Hours of LeMons forum (and their leader, Loren) for finding this future nickels-winning treasure.

Disclaimer: A mild mannered motoring journalist by day, Jonny Lieberman dons the robe and econo-barrister wig as Judge Jonny on the 24 Hours of LeMons racing circuit. Together with Justice Murilee Martin they comprise the LeMons Supreme Court.

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 40%

From the flagship of the fleet department comes the finest in American family wagons. Why? Because we really don’t know of anyone else who tears into the absolute largest of fusty old Mopar station wagons and transforms them into ridiculously fast drag machines at a more alarming rate than Gaffo Jones from Wagons of Steel. Mr. Jones has been up to this sort of mayhem for a while – from the original Mighty Josephine in the mid-nineties up to a NHRA Division 6 Plymouth Belvedere long roof currently on nationwide tour. For more of exactly what it takes to get heavies like this monster moving down the quarter mile in the 10-second range head on over to Wagons of Steel, or read on Gaffo’s ramblings over at Mopar Max.

Popularity: 43%

When most folks hear “Saab Sonett,” their thoughts immediately turn to handsomely awkward fiberglass FWD coupes racing to 60 mph in 12.5 seconds flat thanks to a Ford sourced V4 engine. But that’s the mid-60s Sonett II. This friends, is the OG Swede racer aka the Sonett I. Desinged in a barn near Trollhättan by four guys named Rolf, Sven, Gotta and Olle (really), the Sonett was firt shown to the world in March of 1956 at the Stockholm Bilsalong (auto show). The plan called for 2,000 Sonetts in 1957. Sadly, the world at large wasn’t ready for a 1,300 pound Swedish roadster powered by a 57 hp two-stroke 748 cc three-banger, as only six Sonett I roadsters were ever built. But at least there were six. The Sonett’s name came from the Swedish, “Så nätt den är.” So neat they are, indeed. [photo Martin Bergstrand]

Popularity: 39%