It’s only been three weeks, but we’re changing up the format of this here LeMon of the Week thang. Finding a beaten, rust-laden nightmare for sale on the internets is all fine and good, but what we want to do is give you some insight into how the LeMons brain trust works. In other words, these are cars we want to see resurrected and battling it out around a race track. This week we sail back from across the pond from France and Italy to the good old US of A, all the to Kenosha, Wisconsin in fact. For you see it was in that now defunct factory that our UAW brethren past forged together the from-certain-angles majestic AMC Pacer. Our friend and colleague Dan Neil named the bubble-backed Pacer to his 50 Worst Cars of All Time list. Translation: the Pulitzer, it means nothing!
For you see, a “wide small car” is your ticket to LeMons gold. Er, nickels. Let’s think about this for a moment. That giant bubble of a roof practically guarantees an easy time welding in a roll cage. And let’s not forget the (idealized) stats. Some Pacers came stock with a 304 V8 capable of grunting out choked 150 hp. However, as a proud member of the LeMons Supreme Court, I can assure that both myself and Judge Martin will look the other way if you were to bolt up a carb, cam and headers – or swap out a spent six for a fresh 401. Our Platonic form Pacer would also show up with a four-speed manual. But hey, we’ll even take the three-speed. Once stripped out, the curb weight will be well under 3,000 pounds. Add the Pacer’s race-worthy RWD setup, and the wide intermediate sounds like a podium car to this barrister. Now, if you really want to go the extra mile (and drop around 400 pounds from the nose) you could go for the we’ll-kiss-you rotary swap. After all, AMC was originally going to cram a Wankel under the Pacer’s hood — they just never got around to it. Judge Jonny is thinking a turbo’d 13B from an second-gen Mazda RX7 ought to do the trick. Either way, Pacer = Index of Effluency lock! And please, no Wayne’s World themes, OK?
Disclaimer: A mild mannered motoring journalist by day, Jonny Lieberman dons the robe and econo-barrister wig as Judge Jonny on the 24 Hours of LeMons racing circuit. Together with Justice Murilee Martin they comprise the LeMons Supreme Court.
While I like Wayne’s World, I agree the 90’s did that just too much. But hey – I wouldn’t mind listening to Bohemian Rhapsody some more though.
Ah, so I guess I’m not the first to want to put a turbo 13b in a Pacer.
It’s a mixed bag, though. I know I’m reading work from people who understand me, but somehow I feel less individual now.
Whew. Looks like Judge Jonny won’t be kissing me any time soon…
Bag the rotary idea and stick with an IMSA Gremlin spec six. You can’t sacrifice the AMC soul.
I think an E30 drivetrain would fix. That way, you could be a prick and a dork at the same time. Hmm… actually…[runs to craigslist] damn. Cinq cent cinq bichez!
I’m still holding out on finding a VAM Lerma for our next car as nothing says LeMons than a Mexican-designed AMC! But failing that a Pacer or better yet a 4×4 Eagle SX/4 (4WD Spirit) would be my next choice. Well unless there’s one running Plymouth Cricket left in the USA :-).
A cool theme would be a retro-futuristic lunar rover…paint it gun-metal gray and add all sorts of NASA crap to it…What is the Snell rating on a space helmet?
Small problem on the space helmet: They’re really designed around not exploding outward (you know…space, vacuum, all that), so I don’t think one would fare too well in a collision.
@Jonny: to combat the e30/Miata-fication of LeMons, you guys should create an automatic 10/25/50/100 bonus-lap list for things like French cars, non-mazda rotaries, or anything older than 1965. That’d give people incentives to really hunt down the weird stuff, and the e30 guys would already start down 50 laps to those in a Corvair.
Re: The Theme. These things were compared to fishbowls, right? So why not a home aquarium motif?
“After all, AMC was originally going to cram a Wankel under the Pacer’s hood — they just never got around to it.”
Bzzt! Incorrect. The engine around which the Pacer was designed was the GMRE – the General Motors Rotary Engine. [you’re both right – Felix Wankel invented the rotary engine – ed] Well into the design of the car, the GMRE project was canceled due to its high fuel use and durability concerns. GM’s corporate pride ruled out buying any of Mazda’s patents. Engineers had to design a clean-sheet engine without using any competitor’s technology. By the way, the termination of the GMRE also orphaned what GM model line… ?
@SJ_Boise: How ’bout the GM H Body cars (Monza, et al) from the mid-’70’s? There was also an internal effort to create a rotary, mid-engined Corvette.
Give that man a cigar! And now for the bonus round: the designer of this sports car allegedly claimed the Pacer was his inspiration. Can you name the car?
@SJ_Boise The car that was allegedly designed with inspiration from the Pacer was the Porsche 928! The likeness is incredible. When you park the two next to one another, the 928 looks like an elephant sat on a Pacer. In fact, here’s my Pacer (yea, I’ve got one) parked next to a 928: http://motorfanatics.com/2009/04/26/copy-cats/